I’ve been here before, I thought to myself. Oh yes, I’ve been here many times. I had only taken a couple of steps off the ridge when I realized I was going to have a tough time making it down the mountain without a flashlight. To make matters worse, I have a terrible sense of direction. Despite these odds, I plowed ahead through face-slapping limbs and flesh-tearing thorns down the mountain. Along the way I heard something rustling in the underbrush ahead of me. I wonder what that might be? I strained my eyes and craned my neck forward to make out the dark shape a few yards in front of me. Closer still I ventured. My curiosity was getting the better of me. Ultimately it was my nose that revealed the identity of the black and white woodland creature before me. In full panic now, I reversed course and ran aimlessly up the mountain. I stopped after about 100 yards, thankful to have escaped the smell, and thankful I had not run headlong into a tree.

I was pretty happy with myself until I realized I was now completely and totally lost. Some folks might panic in such a situation, but not me. I am an old Pro at being lost. I once got so lost that I ended up on Interstate 35 carrying a black powder rifle. Needless to say, nobody stopped and offered me a ride. Yes, I was lost yet again. This time however, I did the right thing. Instead of wandering around aimlessly, hoping for blind luck, I chose to sit down and wait. My step-dad and I used to have a predetermined plan for when I got lost. He would honk his horn, and I would follow the sound. So, that is what I waited for.

Ten minutes went by, and nothing, no honking. Then fifteen minutes, and still nothing. Finally, after twenty minutes of ear-straining anticipation I heard his horn sound in the distance. I was saved. When I arrived at his truck thirty minutes later, he seemed relieved. He has been through this song and dance with me many times. He has at times had to wait the better part of a day for my return. Thirty minutes is not bad in his book. His happiness was short lived however. He soon got a good whiff of me, and though it was a cold night, we rode home with the windows down. At least I didn’t have to ride in the back, huh?

Being such an expert at getting lost has led me to do some research. In my research, I have come across hundreds of direction finding techniques. Some are quite complicated, while others are easy to do and remember. I favor the easy to remember techniques, because when you are lost, your cognitive ability seems to suffer. Of course, the easiest thing to do is avoid getting lost in the first place, so let’s start there.